The Real World meets The Anti-Real World

And so it happened almost exactly as I expected….

I’m sitting with a few friends at Big Hunt. We’re talking about the New York Senate shit show and I’m passively hitting on this wonderful lady who is about to hit the trail. She’s tall and blonde, has a bombastic personality and can keep up with me at the bar, totally my type. As we’re talking she looks behind me and smiles. “You aren’t going to believe this….but The Real World just walked in.”
Naturally I thought she was fucking with me. There is no way that I am quite literally living my earlier post. I tell her she’s fucking with me, right about the time I get bumped in the back by a camera man. I’m only about two vodka sodas in and all of a sudden I’m filled with joy. This is going to be epic. My friends were overtaken by both a sudden glee and a sudden terror as they realize any conversation we were having was about to be hijacked by my analyzing every move that the cast and crew made. They are a forgiving sort. One is a professional writer who understands my sudden need to digest everything, one a former successful blogger turned operative. The blonde thinks that ARWDC is cool. She is a political operative from the other side of the aisle which magnifies her sexiness by like a million. (Sorry girls, Republicans really are hotter than us Democrats for some reason)

The cast arrives at their table and I’m now on Vodka soda number two. It’s a Sunday night so I figure I should take it easy. This one went over to the juke box and and, immediately scans the selections on the “VH1 Greatest Hits Volume 4 album”. I wanted to shit myself, I mean how could you so consciously be more of a corporate whore? He ended up choosing:


Kanye, All falls down
Outkast: The way u move, club mix
Queen; Another one bites the dust
Temptations: Something or other, I was starting to get tipsy by this point.

As my friends and I were quietly critiquing his musical selections, I overheard the General Manager say to a member of his staff, “I’m really not thrilled they are here.” I immediately perked up and the two of us began talking. The staff and management of the bar were extremely gracious, but were squarely Anti-Real Worlders. I was happy to know that I was at home amongst my people…and let me just tell you, I’ve always been a big fan of The Big Hunt, I am even moreso a fan now.

At this point, I feel as though we were getting a bit loud, and maybe we were flagrantly talking about the blog within earshot of one of the Production Assistants. It was then that the most immaculate thing ever happened. One of the cast chose to engage us.

Ashley was a lovely girl, a 22 year old from out west, a foster child who planned on volunteering somewhere in the city with children. As we came to learn, all the house members are free to find employment wherever they want. She told me that she was a serious, life-long Democrat and a former Obama Delegate in Las Vegas. She was very “religious” and said that she was sure that if Jesus were alive today, he’d be a Democrat. This nearly got my lovely blonde friend to leap out of her chair. I shot her a glance and a wry smile. My Republican friend did not tear her to shreds…slightly disappointing. Ashley continued talking to me and then very candidly said, “Why does everyone in this town hate us?” I responded, “I don’t hate you.” (OH COME ON READER, SHE WAS CUTE.) Furthermore, she REALLY cared, and I must say, it was endearing.

“Well so many people do, I mean, I guess if I lived somewhere, and a reality tv show came to town and went to my bars and restaurants, I’d be a little pissed too, but we’re just normal people, like everyone else.”

“But, you aren’t, because you are being followed by cameras…”

“But before we were followed by cameras, we were just like anyone else.”

“Well, yes and no, I mean, my friends and I wouldn’t ever have cameras follow us around and EVERY ONE of us works in media. By the way, can I buy you a drink?”

“I can’t drink today, I’ve been drinking for three days straight and I have [A medical condition] I should probably lay off.“

“Indeed”

“Well, it was nice meeting you.”

“Same.”

A fellow ARWDC blog contributor then walked in and smiled at all the craziness. He proceeded to walk over to the juke box and put DeVo’s “Whip It” on repeat. We identified an African-American male on the cast as being gay based on his Human Rights Campaign t-shirt. This pissed me off slightly as HRC doesn’t really DO much for the LGBT cause, I mean wearing an HRC t-shirt is kinda like wearing a Che Guevara shirt…it shows how tragically hip and non-revolutionary you are.

At the end of the day, I had a few too many drinks and went home alone. Story of my life.

Bars that are getting on our good side...

From the very first time I walked into Wonderland Ballroom three years ago or so, I knew it would be among my favorite haunts in Washington. Today, the DCist confirmed why. Matt McGovern and his wife Rose Donna, a dynamic duo who also brought us Looking Glass Lounge have apparently told The Real World Cast that they are persona non-grata at the fine Columbia Heights establishment. I think this little nugget from Matt says it all: (Quote via Fritz Hahn at The Washington Post)

"I don't know if I'd let them film here." So [McGovern] put my question to a vote of the patrons present, shouting "Should we let 'The Real World' film in here?" Audible groans and murmurs of dissent could be heard on my end. "I guess the answer's no," he said. "We almost run the bar like a democracy, and certain things have to be put to a vote."

THINK about the implications here. The patrons at Wonderland, who brave the sometimes crazy street life on Kenyon to drink at one of the city’s premier neighborhood bars, feel that the Real World DC cast is slightly more of a nuisance then a crack head, mugger, gang member or a first time home buyer. Awesome. I’ll tell you one thing, you can expect to see a lot more of me at this fine establishment and I urge our readers to do the same. First round is on Matt.

I also want to give a shout out to one of the best damn music venues in the land, The Black Cat which will also be Anti-Real World DC friendly. It’s good to know that while the cast, their cameras, their entourage and all the douche bag onlookers will be hopping from Pilar to Saint Ex, we’ll have a safe house on 14th to run. It’s my guess that other establishments will be quick to follow suit. I’d imagine that my new favorite bar in DC, The Gibson, with its low key atmosphere would be among the first to shun the cameras and insanity.

If you know of an establishment that is going to be anti-real world DC friendly, we’d love to know about it! Drop us an email and if it’s a place we like anyway, we’ll throw a shout out your way! Places like The Guards NEED NOT APPLY.

Real Worlders to Frequent Georgetown? You don't say!

This little tidbit was sent from a tipster:

"Last night I was at one of the bars I go to all the time and bumped into the manager of another Bar. He confirmed that he met w MTV execs and that his bar will be featured when the cast goes out in DC.
I am surprised that their choice was Third Edition in Gtown. MTV execs presented him with a sales plan and how bars that have " hosted" the real world before make around 45-60% more business after they are featured in the show."

I am honestly not surprised that they are going to Third Edition as the place routinely features underage GW and Georgetown kids drinking and is a hot spot for GW parties. McFaddens is likely another choice. Those of you worried about them going to J.R.'s are safe it seems.