Why We're Here

Over the past few weeks, the contributors to this blog have worked tirelessly to keep the site fresh with content and insight as MTV begins filming on the Real World in Washington, DC. During that time, as the site continued to grow, a community began to develop. This blog was created, not to simply bash everything coming out of 2000 S Street or to post without thinking. It was created to serve as a forum for those who care deeply about what goes on in their neighborhoods - whether it be welcoming seven strangers with open arms or telling them to go home.

The contributors to this blog don't drive the content on the site, the readers do. Our wonderful readership (yes - we include even you folks who read us JUST because you hate us) has helped us generate content from user ideas. We share ideas that sometimes spur disagreement, but how else is progress made without allowing both sides to speak? We are so eternally grateful for all of the readers and the tipsters and the blogs and the news outlets that have helped publicize this forum.

Which is why when bloggers who we will just refer to as "Heidi & Spencer" continue their attempts to antagonize and divide us, we take this opportunity to remind them about something we've all been told at one point in our lives (some of us 3 or 4 times):

"It's not about you."

As a neighbor, a homeowner, a DC-resident and a politically engaged citizen, the concept of "Anti-Real World" was never about the cast or the people. It was about the overarching themes that have been lost in MTV's long running social experiment. It's about being real. Part of being real is being honest. Do we judge? Absolutely. Do we heckle? Totally. Do we have attitude problems leading to a seemingly endless supply of snarky retorts? You betcha. But one thing we are through it all - is honest.

Those that enjoy this blog the most, whether they be MTV public relations execs, hill staffers, Dupont residents or local business owners - enjoy it because they have a sense of humor. It's important to remind readers that the "social experiment" behind the Real World is that they AREN'T supposed to read tweets, social media, radios, TV, etc. The idea is the interaction between the housemates. This social experiment became compromised right around the time that Bunim-Murray started looking to fill "roles" on their Real World casts.

When one of our contributors met roommate Ashley the other night, he was genuinely impressed by her. He wrote about it. Those that were disappointed he didn't smack her or yell an obscenity clearly haven't interacted with enough people in their lives. This blog is full of snarky, sarcastic, care-free, fun-loving assholes. But we're not bullies. We are not cowards because we don't tell Ashley that her love for social change and do-gooder activities is lame. We are, however, honest, which is why we will continue to poke fun at the roommate that looks like Nick Jonas and the one that dresses like Gerardo.

We will continue to write things the way we do - with honesty. If we were really media whores about this, we'd probably of picked better colors for the site - don't you think? This site is what you all make of it. We will continue to report when one of the cast members pukes on my sidewalk or when someone gets in a fight or when a security guard pretends to be the park police and makes a homophobic slur (seriously dude - not cool!). We call it like we see it. On some days, the grass looks nicer than on others. Let us make no mistake - we are neither here to make friends nor here to make enemies. We are here to simply call it like we see it.

It is our hope that one day, those who seek to appease their own self-esteem issues through constant "me me me" style video blogging will grow up, move out of mommy and daddy's house, buy their own place and then take notice at what is going on in their communities.

What Would a Real Worlder Grill?

Did a late night walk-by at the RW house. I gotta hand it to MTV. They said there would be guard at the house 24/7 and, sure enough, there has been a guard at the house 24/7. Looks like the same guy each time I've seen him. Definite no-nonsense as he didn't fall for my casual "You gotta stay up all night?" shout from the sidewalk and instead chose to ignore my feeble attempts to strike up conversation. The guard looks a lot like Dot Com from "30 Rock."

I moved to the side of the building and got a good look at what appears to be a state-of-the-art, brand new grill outside the house (photos are here, from a previous ARWDC post) and made me think about what would Real Worlders probably grill for a summer cook out?

As I stared at the grill I could already envision a rather built, short blonde-haired, backwards hat wearing, shirtless, Hilter-youth looking frat boy cast member (think: Landon from Real World: Philadelphia) flipping steaks and brats on the thing as cameras roll. This atypical Real Worlder will also likely make some sort of phallic reference about the brats to the token good looking, sexually curious, Midwest girl of the house that MTV will edit and include proper background music to make the scene ooze with hidden meaning. In the end, the steak will be overcooked and the brats won't be from Wisconsin, so why bother eating them?

If I was a Real Worlder, I would hope my roommates brought different culinary skills to the house so that I could share recipes and meals a little more sophisticated than "frat boy steak" or "ignoramus cheeseburger."

What do you think is likely to be cooked on this grill? Should the ARWDC crew come over and show these guys how to use it properly or should we have confidence in the new crop of Real Worlders and their culinary skills?

Snaps to the Workmen and Laborers

I will say this - kudos to the laborers and workmen who are working tirelessly on the DC Real World house. You guys aren't keeping me up at night with banging and nailing and screaming.

Which gives me great comfort considering the residents of said Real World house will most likely keep me up all night with banging, nailing and screaming starting June 20th.

My only hope is that on their first night here they stumble across Smith Point and decide they'd rather just camp out on the other side of Connecticut Ave for the rest of the season.

And as a side note, I've heard rumors of "Oh the cast is probably going to try to come to your place and yell at you!" If this happens, I only ask that it's not done by the obligatory "southern frat boy" character on "Real World" who seems incapable of wearing a shirt while spouting ignorant comments about how tough it was growing up in a house where mom wouldn't let him wear his hat sideways and the collars were never popped. If we're gonna be yelled at, let's have the brooding "I have a dark secret...I'm not really a redhead" character do it. That character at least is more tolerable than the ones that usually can only express themselves monosyllabicly through grunts and greek fraternity letters.

[Our] Indifference Will Not Sustain [Our] Blog

Love or hate this blog, it's clear that everyone thinks something about it. We thank you for that. Like Brooke searching for a manicure in downtown Denver, we'd be lost without you all, so muchas gracias dear readers.

Since this blog was born out of our inherent love for DC (yes haters, we love our home), it's only right that we give props to the local rags and blogs that have shown us some love:

• Politico's Shenanigans called us "lovely" and, um, said other things.
• The Washingtonian's Capital Comment Blog called us predictable, but noted our mad new media prowess. (I might be projecting with that one.)

Other posts have shown up on PQLiving, The Heights Life, Washington City Paper, uwishunudc, and His Story. You'll note the strong dose of haterade, coupled with a few heaping teaspoons of love.

Whatever - I'll take it.

5 Tips for Washingtonians That Will Inevitably Hook Up with a Real Worlder

5) Always carry penicillin with you. Always.

4) Under no circumstances, do NOT wear your oversized Obama '08 shirt to bed. That's weird and guys don't find it attractive.

3) DO wear your Tina Fey/Sarah Palin glasses.

2) If you tweet from the Real World house, you are a fucking douchebag like them. But please do include photos, will ya?

1) Quit your job right now. You're done. It's over. Move back to the Midwest where your loose morals will be received knowledge among the common folk.

Why This Won't End Well

I'm kinda getting tired of hearing "oh they're going to be a great contribution to the community and won't party a lot."

Guess what? If they actually don't party a lot, MTV will probably consider the season a failure. In 18+ years of "Real World" television, has there ever been a season where they seem to say:

"You know what, if the roommates hook up or get in fights or get drunk - it's going to make for terrible television!"

Yeah, thought so...

Here's hoping that they new cast makes for boring television and doesn't keep me up all night!

Where Angels & D-bags Fear to Tread--Part I

With the impending arrival of the Real World cast and crew, DC is about to become a festering mess of douchebags and their followers....well more so.

This will be a continuing series of places where the Real World crowd will never go, and where we all can hopefully be safe from their antics. If you have an addition, post it in the comments and we will try and use it in another update.

1) The Red Derby: Located up 14th St., the Red Derby is one of the best places to enjoy good beer at great prices in a great, non-fratty atmosphere.


Why the RWers won't go there: The Derby is critically located far enough away and the Real World cast will be too lazy to go up there. Also, the neighborhood is "very scary." And by that I mean not scary at all.


2) Townhouse Tavern: A favorite hangout for people who actually know it exists and many progressive activists.


Why the RWers won't go there: If you've been there, you know that their bathrooms are only slightly better than a latrine...and that's a huge reason why regulars love it. The Real World cast would have to run home to go. Also, the Mayor of Townhouse would organize the progressives to chain themselves to the doors so no one could get in. Trust me he could do this.


3)Florida Avenue Grill: A DC institution that usually gets overshadowed by Ben's Chili Bowl. FL Ave. Grill is home to delicious diner food in an area of DC that is getting increasingly anti-septic.

Why the RWers won't go there: The glasses aren't always the cleanest, the food is packed with cholesterol, and they serve scrapple. Somehow I don't think that Britney (my imagined RWDC castmember), who grew up in a suburban wasteland full of chain restaurants, will enjoy this restaurant. Fine with me and pass the scrapple.

Puck Off

Fifteen years ago, one man changed the early era of reality television with his immature antics and poor hygiene. His name was David Rainey but we knew him simply as "Puck."

"Puck" was a major league asshole so with just two weeks until the Real World crew set to start the new season in D.C. -- site of the largest conglomeration of assholes -- it only seems appropriate to ask:

Who is your favorite for D.C.'s "Puck"?

It begins...

The MTV Real World DC house is located at 2000 S Street, NW.

I live at 1933 S Street, NW.

I can see them from my kitchen and will be bumping into lights when I step outside starting June 20th.

May g-d have mercy on their souls.