TRW DC NonProfits (Non-Snark Edition)

So some of you out there in the interwebs think the contributors to this blog are a bunch of self-congratulatory jackasses. While that's might be true, we're also deeply committed to making this world a better place. We're do-gooders. Everyone in DC - regardless of where they come from, come here to DC because they carry a commitment to social change. Sure, we don't all vote the same way, and yeah, we might not agree on tactics. But we all have a commitment to helping others out.

So in that spirit, I offer a list of DC-centric non-profits that we hope the MTV/Bunim-Murray producers will consider as they scrounge for some nice, non-controversial internships for TRW DC cast members. In no particular order:

The Whitman Walker Clinic
"For more than three decades, the Clinic has been renowned – locally, nationally and internationally – for the high-quality, culturally sensitive care it provides. This work remains critical in an area with the highest HIV infection rate in the country."
The AIDS Walk is October 3rd. Interestingly enough, it has a birthday in common with The Real World show -- this is the 23rd 5K fundraiser walk for the Clinic, and DC will be the 23rd season of TRW. They should celebrate their 23rd year together.

DC Vote
"Founded in 1998, DC Vote is an educational and advocacy organization dedicated to securing full voting representation in Congress and full democracy for the more than half a million residents of the District of Columbia."
Absolutely nothing says District of Columbia like local disenfranchisement. An internship here would be very educational with a strong local perspective. Also the hot young things can help lobby on the Hill and actually use their hotness for good - like getting voting rights for DC residents.

V3 Campaign
The V3 campaign is part of the DC Central Kitchen, founded by Robert Egger. His vision created a nonprofit that collects food donations and trains unemployed men and women for foodservice jobs. The V3 Campaign, an offshoot, is a good teachable moment because it's effectively the voice of nonprofits for the electoral world. They say "it's simple: we are going to ask every candidate for higher office—from small town mayoral contenders to presidential nominees—to provide details about their experience with nonprofits and their plans for partnering with, and strengthening the nonprofit sector if they are elected."

Capitol Letters Writing Center
This cool nonprofit helps budding poets and literary artists in DC. "Capitol Letters Writing Center believes that within every student lives a writer. We support and challenge those writers through workshops, tutoring, and student publications that complement the classroom goals of educators in a safe and creative environment." They have some very dedicated volunteers who held one of the most creative fundraisers I've seen in a while: a Mustache-o-thon. There is no such thing as suffering too much for art, I guess. Including growing pornstar worthy facial hair.

Bread for the City
This charity has been in operation for almost forty years. "The agency began as two organizations; Zacchaeus Free Clinic began in 1974 as a volunteer-run free medical clinic, and Bread for the City was created in 1976 by a coalition of downtown churches to feed and clothe the poor." A little time with this organization would help TRWers see the other part of DC that isn't Dupont Circle.

Street Sense
The vendors are on every corner of our city. This innovative organization "was founded in August 2003 after two volunteers, Laura Thompson Osuri and Ted Henson, approached the National Coalition for the Homeless on separate occasions about starting a street newspaper in Washington, D.C." It would be a really interesting challenge to see TRWers spend a day trying to hock Street Sense on Connecticut and K St. (That or do a canvass with Greenpeace or US. PIRG. In the middle of August. Like most of us in this town did at one point or another.)

Brainfood
The foodie in me can't help but be excited about this program. "We reach young people through a positive approach based on one of the oldest and most universal of human traditions: food. Through listening, reading, shopping, measuring, chopping, whisking, roasting, cooling, collaborating, presenting, eating, cleaning and volunteering." Plus if they worked with this nonprofit, the castmembers would learn more about our local food and drink, and maybe even some of the myriad DC farmers markets.

Literacy Volunteers and Advocates
"Literacy Volunteers and Advocates enhances the lives of adults in the Washington, D.C., area who struggle with reading and writing." This program is part of a larger global adult literacy movement that helps people learn to read. Like other nonprofits on this list, working with this group would potentially bring a more authentic aspect to the show, as well as, you know, teach a few people to read.

Food and Friends
"Reverend Carla Gorrell founded Food & Friends in 1988 when a friend, sick at home with AIDS, needed something to eat. Along with nutrition counseling, Food & Friends prepares, packages and delivers meals and groceries to more than 1,400 people living with HIV/AIDS, cancer and other life-challenging illnesses throughout Washington, DC," This group does amazing work, directly helping people through out DC. Similar to others on the list, this group effects change through getting food to people.

Art Enables
"Very often people with developmental and/or mental disabilities are better able to express themselves in images than in words. Art Enables is focused on just such a group: thirty-some artists whose disabilities include but are not limited to Down syndrome, autism, traumatic brain injury, bipolar disorder. Their ages range from 24 to 72. They are African-American, Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, Arab." It would be as if the opposite of reality TV actors met people who dealt with a challenging reality. Plus check out the art, it's really inspiring.

And if the cast of TRW DC really has a issue with being under an additional lens (via blogostalking) I suggest they check out a nonprofit entirely devoted to electronic privacy rights. Center for Democracy and Technology

Three words: Career Limiting Move

You want to know why any reality TV show is doomed to failure in this town? Because it's hard to out-DC DC.

Because DC is a 24/7 around the clock kabuki theater show. As in vaudeville. Street theater. Showbiz for ugly people. High drag of the dragadociously draggy drag. Constructed, groomed, measured, orchestrated and often contrived and manufactured. But I'm not jaded. And before you jump on me for being a hater, let me tell you something - I'm a DC native - I've paid my dues - and I'm still schelping around. And I don't place judgement on it. Just calling it like it is.

The group I worry about the most are the Interns, and by association, those Real Worlders. Don't the producers make the RWers do internships between the time when they're fornicating, binge drinking and fussing like toddlers?

As a cautionary gesture, I wanted to share a list of famous Intern Scandals, or as I think of it, Massive Career Limiting Moves. Most of these scandals involve the internet, ALL of them involve sex, and none of them end happily. And just to be sporting, I made sure the list was bipartisan. Much like herpes and stupidity, scandal isn't partial to one party. Also, for those that really want to kill time, Wikipedia has a nice running tally of political sex scandals.

#5: The Tripplehorny Email
A (sadly) bipolar ego-maniac sends a long, bitchy email to his ex-girlfriend, only to have it circulate the entire internet in 10 seconds. This story has a sad ending, as the offender committed suicide last year. Moral of the story is: do what us old-hands do, and pick up a phone to bitch people out. No email, no finger prints. Use a text message if you really have to (harder to forward.)

#4: The Congressional Fratitude of John Sweeney
John Sweeney was running for reelection in upstate NY and decided it would be a really great idea to go to a frat party at a local college right before losing his race. Sweeney ends up not only getting a DUI, but also is charged with spousal abuse, among other things. Yeah, a real charmer. While this scandal technically happened in upstate NY and not DC, it did involve a requisite 24-year old woman in his lap. Ladies of Real World (and DC at large) I don't care how crowded a car is or what committee he says he sits on - DO NOT SIT ON HIS LAP.

#3: Whoops I Did It Again in FL-16
I don't know what is in the drinking water in that district, but nobody can keep it in their pants. Mark Foley (R) gets ousted for IM'ing minors (among other things), only to be replaced by Tim Mahoney (D) who is boffing a mistress and a staffer. On second thought, this scandal doesn't really involve interns, but whatever. It's thematic.

#2: Washingtonienne Gets Wonked
Jessica Cutler blogs about all the sex she has for money, and then parlays that into a book deal, a potential TV series and hooks a lawyer husband. Her story was also how I was introduced to Wonkette in 2004. If you have to commit a major career limiting move, please follow Jessica's pathetic path. Her tell-all book, by the way, is more poorly written than those bodice-ripper paperbacks you see unhappy woman buy in grocery stores.

#1: Stay Away From Cigars
Monica Lewinsky. If I have to explain this one, you have clearly lived under a rock for the last 12 years. On the flip side, since performing internly duties for the Leader of the Free World, Lewinsky has had a very successful career making tacky handbags and getting a meaningless degree from some British school. So, you know. You could do worse.

Bottom line - just keep it in your pants, people. Or away from your mouths or whatever.

I hope the Real Worlders (and the producers that should be minding them) manage to not fuck it up, literally.

But you know, if they do, we'll read about it.