Saturday, June 6, 2009

Where Angels & D-bags Fear to Tread--Part I

With the impending arrival of the Real World cast and crew, DC is about to become a festering mess of douchebags and their followers....well more so.

This will be a continuing series of places where the Real World crowd will never go, and where we all can hopefully be safe from their antics. If you have an addition, post it in the comments and we will try and use it in another update.

1) The Red Derby: Located up 14th St., the Red Derby is one of the best places to enjoy good beer at great prices in a great, non-fratty atmosphere.

Why the RWers won't go there: The Derby is critically located far enough away and the Real World cast will be too lazy to go up there. Also, the neighborhood is "very scary." And by that I mean not scary at all.

2) Townhouse Tavern: A favorite hangout for people who actually know it exists and many progressive activists.

Why the RWers won't go there: If you've been there, you know that their bathrooms are only slightly better than a latrine...and that's a huge reason why regulars love it. The Real World cast would have to run home to go. Also, the Mayor of Townhouse would organize the progressives to chain themselves to the doors so no one could get in. Trust me he could do this.

3)Florida Avenue Grill: A DC institution that usually gets overshadowed by Ben's Chili Bowl. FL Ave. Grill is home to delicious diner food in an area of DC that is getting increasingly anti-septic.

Why the RWers won't go there: The glasses aren't always the cleanest, the food is packed with cholesterol, and they serve scrapple. Somehow I don't think that Britney (my imagined RWDC castmember), who grew up in a suburban wasteland full of chain restaurants, will enjoy this restaurant. Fine with me and pass the scrapple.


Anonymous said...

The cast may surprise you. They are all activists or have some compelling story. At least three will be like so many living in the area. Two probably will stay behind or move to Adams Morgan.

At least the production company hired some local people. Don't be surprised if there is a Sunday afternoon motorcade arriving in early July from somewhere along Penn. Ave.

Anonymous said...

That comment sounds like MTV PR trying to get ahead of the backlash. And I, for one, do not find it compelling. Two cast members might move to the booziest neighborhood in town? Gee - that's SHOCKING.

Anonymous said...

I think it's awesome that MTV's PR machine found you already. Good job! I am about to head over to your other post and pontificate on why I am pissed they are coming to DC. Hold please...

Doug said...

That first comment is indeed priceless. But watch out, now that the machine has found you, the RWers may just try to (or more likely, the producers will have them) frequent the places you list - to show how "like so many living in the area" they are.

Hill Rat said...


Pfft, like MTV would go to a cool low key spot like the Skylark Lounge.