Monday, July 6, 2009

The Real World meets The Anti-Real World

And so it happened almost exactly as I expected….

I’m sitting with a few friends at Big Hunt. We’re talking about the New York Senate shit show and I’m passively hitting on this wonderful lady who is about to hit the trail. She’s tall and blonde, has a bombastic personality and can keep up with me at the bar, totally my type. As we’re talking she looks behind me and smiles. “You aren’t going to believe this….but The Real World just walked in.”
Naturally I thought she was fucking with me. There is no way that I am quite literally living my earlier post. I tell her she’s fucking with me, right about the time I get bumped in the back by a camera man. I’m only about two vodka sodas in and all of a sudden I’m filled with joy. This is going to be epic. My friends were overtaken by both a sudden glee and a sudden terror as they realize any conversation we were having was about to be hijacked by my analyzing every move that the cast and crew made. They are a forgiving sort. One is a professional writer who understands my sudden need to digest everything, one a former successful blogger turned operative. The blonde thinks that ARWDC is cool. She is a political operative from the other side of the aisle which magnifies her sexiness by like a million. (Sorry girls, Republicans really are hotter than us Democrats for some reason)

The cast arrives at their table and I’m now on Vodka soda number two. It’s a Sunday night so I figure I should take it easy. This one went over to the juke box and and, immediately scans the selections on the “VH1 Greatest Hits Volume 4 album”. I wanted to shit myself, I mean how could you so consciously be more of a corporate whore? He ended up choosing:


Kanye, All falls down
Outkast: The way u move, club mix
Queen; Another one bites the dust
Temptations: Something or other, I was starting to get tipsy by this point.

As my friends and I were quietly critiquing his musical selections, I overheard the General Manager say to a member of his staff, “I’m really not thrilled they are here.” I immediately perked up and the two of us began talking. The staff and management of the bar were extremely gracious, but were squarely Anti-Real Worlders. I was happy to know that I was at home amongst my people…and let me just tell you, I’ve always been a big fan of The Big Hunt, I am even moreso a fan now.

At this point, I feel as though we were getting a bit loud, and maybe we were flagrantly talking about the blog within earshot of one of the Production Assistants. It was then that the most immaculate thing ever happened. One of the cast chose to engage us.

Ashley was a lovely girl, a 22 year old from out west, a foster child who planned on volunteering somewhere in the city with children. As we came to learn, all the house members are free to find employment wherever they want. She told me that she was a serious, life-long Democrat and a former Obama Delegate in Las Vegas. She was very “religious” and said that she was sure that if Jesus were alive today, he’d be a Democrat. This nearly got my lovely blonde friend to leap out of her chair. I shot her a glance and a wry smile. My Republican friend did not tear her to shreds…slightly disappointing. Ashley continued talking to me and then very candidly said, “Why does everyone in this town hate us?” I responded, “I don’t hate you.” (OH COME ON READER, SHE WAS CUTE.) Furthermore, she REALLY cared, and I must say, it was endearing.

“Well so many people do, I mean, I guess if I lived somewhere, and a reality tv show came to town and went to my bars and restaurants, I’d be a little pissed too, but we’re just normal people, like everyone else.”

“But, you aren’t, because you are being followed by cameras…”

“But before we were followed by cameras, we were just like anyone else.”

“Well, yes and no, I mean, my friends and I wouldn’t ever have cameras follow us around and EVERY ONE of us works in media. By the way, can I buy you a drink?”

“I can’t drink today, I’ve been drinking for three days straight and I have [A medical condition] I should probably lay off.“

“Indeed”

“Well, it was nice meeting you.”

“Same.”

A fellow ARWDC blog contributor then walked in and smiled at all the craziness. He proceeded to walk over to the juke box and put DeVo’s “Whip It” on repeat. We identified an African-American male on the cast as being gay based on his Human Rights Campaign t-shirt. This pissed me off slightly as HRC doesn’t really DO much for the LGBT cause, I mean wearing an HRC t-shirt is kinda like wearing a Che Guevara shirt…it shows how tragically hip and non-revolutionary you are.

At the end of the day, I had a few too many drinks and went home alone. Story of my life.

26 comments:

nadball said...

well played sir.. i bet it took a lot of effort not to jump out and introduce yourself as the lead proprietor of ARWDC.

culocho said...

Eh, typical. You're a DC person who likes to talk about how much you hate stuff when you secretly love it.

Leave HRC alone, good people work there, doing good things.

Jonathan said...

i suppose it was probably a good idea you went home alone.

xanidu22 said...

Bigger question, what were they drinking?

East said...

2 things:

Such a long post for someone who is anti-Real World.

You are friends with a Republican(they are obviously not from DC and if the Real World needs to leave so does she!)

a said...

Y'all are kind of my heroes. I'm new to the area, and when I found out there was going to be a Real World here, I kind of felt shame and sadness. A little google-lovin, and the next thing I know I've got people focusing on it for me.

Me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Davin Black said...

Hah, oh man. This is your blog, summarized:

1. Find out RWDC is 20 ft. away from your house

2. Raging about it to the point that you feel the need to create a blog to whine on.

3. Coming face to face with a cast member (and by extension, the whole show and a national audience) - the perfect opportunity to prove that you aren't all bluster and start some "heckling."

4. "I don't hate you." <---EPIC FAILURE.

Know how I know you're from D.C. ? Your build-up was strong, then you choked at crunch-time (see: Redskins, Capitals, Wizards, and pre-Obama Democrats). While I don't care one way or the other about RWDC, I thought this would at least be a source of entertainment, but you invalidated your whole blog by folding for the cute foster child.

Ah well: maybe another vodka soda would've strengthened that backbone a bit more, "Da?"

Outlaw Torn said...

Ditto Davin Black's post. Right on the money.

kiki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MizzMocha said...

This is awesome... keep 'em comin. Sorry guys but I'm looking forward to watching RW... and judging them. :) Good post.

aMoreImpossibleGirl said...

this whole "we're just normal people" business coming from the RW cast is bullshit. These are all people who have decided that their best move in life is to become a 3rd rate reality TV star. That decision alone separates them from normal, functioning society. And you know MTV wouldn't have picked them for the show if they didn't have a whole lotta crazy lurking just beneath the surface. Good people do not make good reality television.

Andrew said...

friend just saw the cast at a metro bus stop on rockville pike...at 12:15 AM. odd.

shabooty said...

come on you shoulda crammed the republican slut, what's wrong with you
=)

treqker said...

I thought in one of the earlier posts I read where the ARWDC blogger identified herself as a female working in PR. Was that a misread? ... Or am I now misreading the situation between the blogger and 'the blonde'?

hec said...

tregker, there are 11 contributors to this blog.

What a wasted opportunity to actually engage with the people you're so anti about.

Right on about HRC, though. Those idiots need their expense accounts taken away.

Jennifer said...

Your random tirade about HRC at the end of the blog seems a bit senseless. While I realize that it is "hip" to hate HRC in the District, it just seemed mean spirited in what I've found to be an otherwise fun/snarky blog about the Real World.

Blackbeard said...

Perhaps y'all should practice some lines for when you bump into these assclowns.

"We don't hate you, but we hate what you've brought into our neighborhood, we presume by your choices that you're an attention whore, and we fully expect that you've been cast on the basis of some serious psychological problems. We don't need more people like you in this city. We don't need media indicating people like you are welcome in this city. Go away and take your low rent faux drama with you please."

Yar Har! said...

I think your run-in was well played! You could have fleshed out the "we are just normal people" comment a bit more. Normal people do not sign up to be on a reality TV show. That is why I, personally, and so interested to see what happens with the RWDC. They are like characters from a Greek tragedy: evenutally they will destroy themselves by their own hubris (and copious alcohol consumption).

treqker said...

11 contributors! Wow ... that lends credence to the rumour I heard that you guys/gals aren't really 'against' the Real World ... just looking to attract some attention yourselves. I could understand 1 irate (and slightly unbalanced) neighbor ... but 11? Incidentally, those of us who live in DC know that NO ONE lives within 20 feet of that house ... especially not if you're in the house diagonally across from it. And 11 folks in that house? Is it a group house or something? And YOU're the ones complaining? Pot calling the kettle black?

Yar Har! said...

How does speaking about how it upsets us lead to the conclusion that we are "for" the RWDC? Can you explain that?

And how does writing on a blog equate to: "just looking to attract some attention yourselves."

These posts are annonymous, fool. Or is your name really "treqker?"

Bryce said...

Your commentary about HRC is entirely baseless and a sad attempt at currying favor with the 'anti' crowd.
I'm sure the gentleman in question would LOVE to know your thoughts, speculations and feelings about his sexuality, considering you made them entirely based upon his choice of attire. Should we then assume that all women who wear Birkenstocks are feminist lesbians on a war path? I suppose it is only fitting that we class all of those individuals wearing overalls as Republicans who didn't graduate high school. What about those African-American women wearing brightly colored dresses? Are they just some sad, tired way of connecting with the African Diaspora?
Your attempt to extrapolate likely sexuality and/or worthiness of a cast member falls within these same pejorative lines.
Perhaps the reason you don't believe that HRC works for the LGBT community is because you are so jaded by your own prejudices.

DCBadger said...

@Bryce As an out and proud gay man, as well as a betting man, I would guess that someone wearing clothing with an HRC logo on it is part of the LGBTQ community. It's the same way I would guess someone passing out PETA material doesn't eat meat. Or if someone had an RNC logo on a shirt, I'd think they are Republican.

The cast member had an actual logo for an organization on his clothes--usually a good sign. But.... it turns out the cast member in question is an ally and that's awesome! Sorry we got it wrong! That happens!

Unfortunately, that still doesn't make the author of this post any of the things you would project onto him. He's a staunch ally of the LGBTQ community who has opinions...just ones you disagree with.

Bryce said...

@DCBadger I don't believe I've projected anything negative upon the OP. I'm simply calling into question his baseless assumptions based on attire. It's these sort of preconceived notions and prejudices that alienate our straight allies.
The simple act of wearing a piece of branded merchandise is one of many ways that a person can show their support for a movement, a political party, an organization or a company. It is not necessarily indicative of their sexuality, political leanings, motivations or agendas.

Yes, I disagree with the OP about the value of HRC within the LGBT community; however, to each his own. The point of my post was not to cast aspersions on the OP for his views, but rather point out the fallacy and pejorative nature of his logic.

Jackie said...

You really pussed out, man. How "anti" are you if your response was "I don't hate you." Talking shit behind their backs (and in a way, in their faces--being the Internet) and then when confronted, you cowered. Way to blow it.

rocksteadyvybes said...

First off, let me just say that I respectfully and firmly disagree with the stance your blog is taking. So The Real World is filming in your city for a few measly months. b-o-o-h-o-o. Seriously - so your bars are 8 people more crowded (Ok, ok, plus camera men, whatever).

You say you're against TRW, yet you and many others are wasting hours and hours of your precious time! If you're so against it, don't you have anything better to do? It just seems kind of pathetic that you and others (like Elizabethany, who admitted ON THE RADIO that she wanted to get into the house and into the hot tub....um, contradictory much?).

If you love your city so much, one would think that you'd want to share it with others (millions of others!) instead of getting angry and frustrated about it. Again - it's not a permanent gig! They'll be gone soon!

And to make matters worse, you totally CHOKE when push comes to shove. "We don't hate you...come be our friends!" Ok, so you didn't say that. But you might as well have. Either way, it sounds equally as pathetic that you didn't give Ashley an earful in a kind and respectful way. Lamooo.

Like others said, you definitely just invalidated your entire blog by posting of that 1 encounter.

Are you sure that you're not a Real World Reject? You totally tried out and didn't make the cut, right?

PEACE!